hey guys. i'm back! yes. this girl did survive a summer of bears, ticks, campfires, and lots of little children. surprising i know. even to me. i have been home now for 4 days and here is the burning question i have for myself: how do i even begin to tell people about the most perfect summer of my life?
before i left for camp, God put 2 Corinthians 12:9 on my heart. "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." i had no idea why He had put this on my heart. i really did feel confident in my abilities to be a camp counselor. but then i got to camp and all of a sudden my life became about weakness. to start off i became physically weak when i dislocated my kneecap playing a camp game. it really doesn't sound like that big of a deal but the repercussions of what happened lasted all the way until almost week 5. it was a time in my life where i had to physically rely on God to give me the strength to get through a day. especially when i had campers and all i wanted was to be able to give them 100% of myself. then i started feeling spiritually weak and attacked. i have never experienced spiritual warfare like i did when i was at camp. feeling completely inadequate to do the job you were given first of all. and wondering what i was even going to say or do to point these kids to christ. that's when God's truth hit me and was like "DUH HANNAHBETH. YOU ARE INADEQUATE. you are human and apart from me, you can do NOTHING." finally coming to the realization that God was all i had and all i needed, i became more satisfied and more joyful than i think i have ever been in my life.
now that we are all home from camp, the word i would use to describe my life now is "processing". for seven weeks i did the same thing every day. for seven weeks i knew that saturday night i would be eating tacos. i knew i would be throwing all of my energy into pool olympics and adventure ball on mondays and for the last two weeks of the summer tuesday nights were campout nights. i knew that i could be me without anyone judging me or laughing at me cause who does that at camp? i knew that lifting my hands in worship was a way to show God you were giving it all to Him rather than being noticed by your peers. i knew i could always go to the comfort cabin the second i was feeling down in the dumps and superwoman laura would be there to offer me solid advice and point me back to jesus. i knew that on thursday night i would watch and be amazed as i heard how jesus had worked in campers' lives and i would eat an ice cream sandwich as we all watched the camp video for that week and chanted willis' name. the only way to describe my life for seven weeks is that it was easy and safe. i was protected by the confines of camp. and let me tell you i was completely okay with staying protected and safe within the walls of camp.
but unfortunately God has a sense of humor and He had me praying a prayer to Him through a song unbeknownst to me for the entire seven weeks i was at camp. we sang a song all the time called "oceans" by hillsong. love that song so much. it speaks to my soul. but in the bridge the song says "spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. let me walk upon the water wherever you may call me. take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." my best friend julia said this before me so what i'm about to say is her wisdom not mine. but it is still so very true. for seven weeks i prayed that God would take my trust to a place that had no borders. and for seven weeks i was completely okay with never leaving the borders of camp. but i had to leave. i was called to leave. i'm not supposed to live this life in the good and comfortable. i have to go back and return to my life in a broken and confused world. because the lessons i learned at camp changed me. and this time where my trust is leaving the confines of my safe place is where i will go deeper than my feet could ever wander. because God has me by the hand.
i fell in love on a mountain this summer. i fell in love with how easy and free it was to talk and pray with the amazing people i did life with this summer. i fell in love with camp worship. i fell in love with the way the mountains look from the welcome pavilion and i fell in love with the still quiet in the woods as you try to build a fire on campout morning. i fell in love with every gorgeous sunset that was painted over the mountains. but i also fell in love with the Creator who made the mountains and the still quiet and the sunsets. sure i loved Him before i went to camp. but now i know beyond a shadow of a doubt where my satisfaction and joy comes from because i was given that this summer. and for that i will be eternally grateful for the confines of my safe and happy place. even if i'm not called to stay there forever.
